Next Up: Improv Comedy!
It’s been super gratifying to watch the standup comedy scene in Burlington/Vermont grow exponentially in the last 3 or 4 years. It’s got so much momentum now, there’s no stopping it. We can’t wait to see what the next 3 or 4 years bring.
In the meantime, the improv comedy form is something you don’t see a lot of around here, and we’d like to start changing that. Under our other business (Spark Arts), we’ve been hosting a weekly improv drop-in where people can come and play games no matter what their skill level.
That event has been extremely successful, so we’re doing two things:
1. Offering a 6-week improv class, where people who want to hone their skills and learn from a professional improv instructor can do so. That starts in February, and you should get on board with that if you’re interested.
2. Forming a “Spark Improv” team. We’ve already started rehearsals, and we’ll be booking shows within a month or two.
So stay tuned! Super exciting stuff coming down the pike…
Cheers,
N
Battle fatigued
Nathan and his balls.
Last weekend was the comedy battle, an annual contest with 15 of VT’s best comics competing in front of a sold-out crowd of 500 people…for a prize of $200.
I had fun. After a solid first round set, I moved to the finals, and sang a song about how much Higher Ground was likely making that night (a lot) vs the amount they were paying out in prizes (not a lot).
It was satire.
I don’t typically do this kind of thing, but as a producer who tries to look out for the rights of performers, I felt compelled – and based on the response from the audience and comics, I wasn’t the only one thinking it.
There are a few things I have needed to clarify with people in the last few days:
- I love the staff at Higher Ground. They treat artists incredibly well and run a tight ship. Performing there is always a fantastic experience.
- My point was not that HG should pay comics to perform; it’s a contest, not a “show.” My issue is the discrepancy between the amount the club takes in and the percentage of that money they dole out in prizes. (By my calculation, about 0.02%.)
- Yes, I probably oversimplified, and don’t understand the full details of the venue’s balance sheet. But again, it’s not about the money, it’s about the ratio – and respecting the comics who work hard to put on a show/draw an audience.
- No, I do not think that singing the song “cost me the Battle.” Kyle earned the hell out of it.
- Yes, I know HG may not want me to produce shows there anymore. And that’s okay.
The way I see it, when someone publicly makes a point that many others are thinking about you in a humorous way, your job is first to laugh at yourself, and then ask how you can improve. Are people wrong? Then try to change the perception. Are they right? Then change the behavior.
Thanks to everyone for their kind words this week. Video of the song below. And check out Dan Bolles’ rundown of the night in Seven Days, too.
Clarification on the “Funniest Comic” Contest
Hey guys,
If you registered for the “Funniest Comic in New England” contest in the last few weeks, you may have been confused by a couple things, namely:
A. How to submit your YouTube link when there was no place in the form to do so,
B. What the time limit should be on the video clip, and
C. Why some random chick called saying you had to drive to Boston in a snowstorm to audition.
Thanks for letting me know about these issues. I’ve talked to the owner of Treehouse Comedy and gotten it all sorted out. (I revised the post about the contest here, too.) Here are your answers:
A. They have added a box on the registration form now that lists “emailing a YouTube link” as a submission method. If you haven’t entered yet, just click that. If you have already entered, you don’t need to do so again. All that’s required is that you send a YouTube link with your name to TreehouseComedy@charter.net. (Unless you already have – then you’re cool.)
B. They’re not as hardass on the length of the clip as you might think. They like to see about 7 minutes of your stuff in the newcomers division. If you have 8 or 9, it won’t disqualify you. Just make sure that the material you’re sending them is good. Shoot for 7 minutes, and definitely keep it under 9 or 10.
C. If you got a phone call about needing to audition in Boston, you can disregard it. The comedy club in Boston holding the auditions got a hold of a batch of entrants’ info and called everyone to remind them. As Vermonters, we’re not required to be at the live audition and we can submit via YouTube no problem.
Hope this clears everything up, and our apologies for the confusion. It’s a very exciting contest and totally worth doing, with all the cash prizes and performance opportunities at stake. I hope you’ll enter before Sunday! Let me know if you have any additional questions or issues.
Cheers,
Nathan
The FUNNIEST comic in New England contest!
Just wanted to let you know about a great contest going on right now called
“The Funniest Comic in New England.”
They give away over $9,500 in prizes (not to mention connections you make with comics & bookers at clubs around New England).
One of the judges this year is Eddie Brill from The Late Show with David Letterman.
The producer, a nice dude from Treehouse Comedy in Connecticut, contacted the VCC to lament that Vermont is the only state in New England that’s been unrepresented in the contest in past years. We told him we’d help remedy that.
Because they want comics representing EVERY state in New England, if you’re a solid VT comedian, you’ve got a good shot at going to the quarter-finals.
Here are the details:
How to Enter:
1. Click this link and register in the “Newcomers” division.
2. Pay the $25 entry fee via PayPal or credit card by clicking this link.
3. Email a YouTube link of 9 minutes or less (7 is ideal) to: TreehouseComedy@charter.net
Deadline: January 15, 2012.
If you are selected to move on to the next round(s) in CT, these will be the dates:
Prelim/Quarter Finals*: Fri, Feb 17th & Sat, Feb 18th
Semifinals/Finals*: Fri, Feb 24th & Sat, Feb 25th
* Happens in the 350-seat theater at Mohegan Sun in CT!
Prizes: Cash prizes in 2011 were over $9,500.
This is a great opportunity to get to perform and compete on a bigger stage (literally and metaphorically).
So go on, awesome VT comedians – enter the contest, get yourself to the next round, and go do Vermont comedy proud!
Let me know if you have any questions.
************************************
Funniest Comic Pre-Show
Funniest Comic Promo
Higher Ground Comedy Battle Finalists, 2011
Hey gang,
So the Higher Ground Comedy Battle finalists
were announced yesterday.
Here is the list for anybody who is interested:
Abhi Kulkarni
Alex Nief
Carmen Lagala
Colin Ryan
Jordan Paquette
Josh Star
Kit Rivers
Kyle Gagnon
Natalie Miller
Nathan Hartswick
Pat Lynch
Ryan Kriger
Sam Pelletier
Tony Bates
The battle will take place on 1/21/12 – click here for the details…
Congrats to all – not just those who got in, but those with the guts to get up there and audition. Should be a good show!
Cheers,
VCC
Comedy south of the border
Apparently standup’s undergoing a boom in Brazil.
Nice Times article that’s relevant to any growing comedy scene – including the one here in Vermont.
Check it out:
Welcome to the Vermont Comedy Club
Hey kids.
Nathan Hartswick here, one of the founders of the Vermont Comedy Club, an online attempt to pull together the fragmented pieces of the Vermont comedy scene into a single locale.
If you’re a Vermonter looking for some comedy to hit up, there are two things you can do:
1. Bookmark the calendar of events, or
2. Subscribe to this blog. You can do this via email or RSS. (You can get all posts or just event listings.)
Either option will keep you up-to-date on what’s going on in the world of standup in the green mountain state.
If you’re a comic, venue, producer or anyone else interested in what we’re doing here, we’re working on a comprehensive list, so shoot us your info!
And hey, stick around. We’ll be throwing all sorts of entertaining shit on here; asking Vermont comics to post some guest blogs; posting photos and video of gigs, and stuff like that. You’ll enjoy it.
Joe Klocek vs. Heckler
Thinking about maybe starting a regular feature of the best examples of good comics destroying moronic hecklers…
Here’s a doosy.
Joe Klocek kills this guy for 7 minutes straight.
Moral: keep your trap shut. Just because you’re in the audience doesn’t mean they’re on your side.
Comedy/music/theater camps for teens
I’m now a few weeks into teaching a standup comedy class for adults at Diversity Studios, and it’s going great – we have a really funny group of people, and I’m looking forward to the final performance, which will take place August 7 at the Monkey House.
Meantime, I just wanted to mention that there are a few camps Natalie and I are offering for teenagers this summer that still have slots open. Take a look, and let us know if you’re interested!
**********************************
Next Month:
Standup Comedy for Teens
Ages: 12 – 15
Days: Monday, August 8 – Friday, August 12
Time: 1:00 pm – 2:30 pm
Cost: $150
Musical Theater for Teens
Ages: 13 – 18
Days: Monday, August 8 – Friday, August 12
Time: 2:30 pm – 4:30 pm
Cost: $170
If you’re interested, fill out the registration form on Diversity’s site.
If finances are a concern, let them know – usually they’re pretty good
about working with people.
Hope you’re all having a great summer!
Cheers,
Nathan
If Wes Anderson directed Spiderman
by I’m guessing that 3 or 4 movies into directing the Spidey franchise, Wes will start adding meticulous, unnecessarily complex production design; hollow, morose characters and an unrelenting sense of pretentiousness.
And we will love him for it.
Good job, kids. You captured it:
"Comics to study"
John and I were working on a little web series for awhile that may or may not see the light of day. It’s a pretty funny idea, but y’know, you get busy and lack the time to properly wrap the thing up, so it exists in limbo as one of those unfinished masterworks.
At any rate, I found this prop the other day from one of our shoots, and it cracked me up. No, it’s not really who I’m “studying” as a comic. If I did, I’d probably want to slit my wrists.
John Lyons @ the Monkey
Posted by by Nathan Hartswick
A little John Lyons to make you feel sane.
Enjoy.
This is not the host you're looking for
by Oh, man. You stay classy, NBC.
All the Conan episodes of The Tonight Show have suddenly up and vanished off the Interwebs.
Good job with the revisionist history, guys. With any luck we’ll forget this whole darned thing ever happened.
Learn English in 5 easy steps
by If you go by this charming little “exercise while you learn English” video, the Japanese apparently think that the following is what will happen to you if you visit America. In this exact order.
1. You will need to hail a taxicab.
2. You will need to tell the taxicab driver where you would like to be let out.
3. A mugger will demand your camera at knifepoint. You will give him anything he wants.
4. You will have to beg for your life. He may grant it to you.
5. If you are still alive, someone will ask you on a date, and you should suggest paying for half, lest you look like a whore.
Now you know everything you need to visit America! Oh, except for this.
This is not the host you’re looking for
by Oh, man. You stay classy, NBC.
All the Conan episodes of The Tonight Show have suddenly up and vanished off the Interwebs.
Good job with the revisionist history, guys. With any luck we’ll forget this whole darned thing ever happened.
A plea about my career
If I start out as a promising young comic or actor, and I end up as a middle aged man hosting an insipid game show on basic cable or daytime TV, just shoot me in the fucking head. I don’t care how much money they’re paying me. Seriously. Fucking shoot me.
I thank you.
Let Freedom Reign
Admit it: this is the best thing about the Olympics so far.
If you didn’t catch it, Colbert presented his Shepard Fairey-designed Olympic poster the other night. I love it because of the forlorn look on Colbert’s face, the “whoa, Freedom, whoa!” sentiment as he handles the reigns on in his giant eagle, and the utter ridiculousness of the tagline: “Defeat the World.”
Click the pic to download a PDF. I did, and now it’s the background on my laptop. It makes every part of my day better.
Top 10 numbers
I can’t explain why this is hilarious. It just is.
Via YesButNoButYes.
Posted by Nathan Hartswick.
Poster goodness!
Thanks to the design skills of Ms. Lara Dickson of Deep Dish Creates, we now have our poster for the March 6 show at Higher Ground. Check it out below! Tix go on sale on Higher Ground’s site at 11 a.m. today – make sure you pick some up! (They’re half-price if you get ‘em in advance.)
Be thankful
In case you missed it, here is a song I performed at the Flynn Space in Burlington back at Thanksgiving time. Enjoy.
What musical theater puppeteers do in their free time
Ok, so you’re either going to find this really confusing, totally stupid, or utterly hilarious.
My girlfriend and I are musical theater performers, so we were in the latter group. The only logical explanation for the video below is that the cast of My Little Pony Live (yep, it exists) got a little punchy in between the matinee and evening performances one day and decided to start acting out numbers from Dreamgirls and Wicked.
Confusing? Sort of. Stupid? Maybe. But hilarious? Yes. Oh, hell yes.
Tickets on sale for 3/6 show
Okay, fine, we’re a little over-excited about our own gig. But we wanted to let you know that tickets are now on sale for our kickass comedy show at Higher Ground on 3/6. They’re half price if you buy ‘em in advance. And come on: 5 bucks is dirt cheap.
So, do you really have an excuse not to pick up a fistful? We didn’t think so.
VCC gets some local press
We traded a few emails with Seven Days music editor Dan Bolles, and were lucky enough to be written up in his column this week.
When you have a minute, go check it out!
Nerd in a fat suit
by Holy crap.
This morning I finally fired up a borrowed videocamera, threw in one of the unlabeled mystery tapes that’s been lying around my house, and discovered this.
It’s a production of Guys n Dolls my mother directed when I was in 6th grade.
I played Nicely Nicely Johnson, and since I wasn’t quite rotund enough for the role, I wore a pillow strapped to my torso under my suit.
As you’ll see by my commanding performance in the clip below, my voice hadn’t changed, and I didn’t know what to do with my hands. It was excruciating for me to watch. After shouting all sorts of directorial criticisms at the hapless little dork in the video, I had to remind myself, “Nathan, he’s 10. Back off a little.”
Go ahead. Have a laugh at my expense.
Corm & the Coach!
UPDATE: Corm was sick, so this appearance got canceled. Next time!
Set your alarms, kids – Chad and I are going to be on 107.1′s morning show “Corm and the Coach” tomorrow (Friday) at 8:10 a.m.
I assume I will let Chad, who is a sports fan and a rugby player, be hilarious and macho, and that I will offer one or two sarcastic, snarky comments if by some miracle I can think of anything funny to say. If.
It doesn’t look like they have a way to stream the station online, so I hope you didn’t throw away your real radio. (Maybe your iPhone has a radio on it?)
Higher Ground tonight is sold out!
Tonight’s the night!
We sold out the Showcase Lounge at Higher Ground. They even asked us if we wanted to add a late show. We opted not to do so this time, but we’re psyched to pack the place with our 8 p.m. show tonight.
A little video message is on Facebook; if you’re bored, click the photo.
See you tonight!
So how'd it go?
by Holy crap that was fun.
Last night’s show at Higher Ground’s Showcase Lounge exceeded our wildest expectations. The room was packed; every seat was taken, and the area by the bar was elbow-to-elbow. The crowd was a diverse mix of friends, family, coworkers and strangers. As people got their drinks and listened to our pre-show mix of 80s pop songs and TV themes, the mood was festive.
Meanwhile, upstairs in the green room, we six comics were being treated better than we ever have at a gig. Nick and the whole gang there simply know how it’s done, and we never had to worry about anything besides putting on a good show.
And that we did. I got up and warmed up the crowd a little, then brought on the bright young comic:
Pat Lynch: My girlfriend said it best: he prepared to be an opener. Typically when someone opens, they do a short version of their usual material. But Pat had incredibly funny stuff welcoming everyone to Higher Ground (“Hey, look how many of you have 5 dollars!”) and the Vermont Comedy Club (“Tonight was supposed to be ‘Let Bums Come Inside and Get Warm’ Night at Higher Ground”); it totally set the tone for the evening, and got everyone laughing right away. Then came the incomparable:
Avi Waring: She’d been nervously pacing backstage, but the second she stepped up there she owned the room. It’s fun seeing someone whose material you know find the best possible version of it. Avi added a couple flourishes to her hilarious stuff and it worked every time. She took advantage of the “tax free day” to tell a hilarious joke about Buck’s Furniture, ending with her waking up on a leather camo loveseat (complete with beer cooler) after a shopping blackout. Then the tone changed with:
John Lyons: John belongs in the middle of a lineup, because the crowd needs to be warmed up and laughing before you hit them with something crazy. John’s thought-provoking one-liners and unsettling social criticism was perfectly balanced. He would reel in the audience with more accessible stuff (“One benefit to being morbidly obese is you’re virtually guaranteed to never be kidnapped.”) and then punch them in the face with his theories about the Middle East. I came on for a song, during which John berated and abused me and insisted that my mic be cut. Next in line was:
Chad Smith: John and I haven’t known Chad long but we all clicked instantly, and he has been so great to work with on VCC stuff. He is super enthusiastic, and that energy translates to the stage. In terms of the sheer volume of laughs, Chad may have won the prize last night; he just knows how to set ‘em up and kick ‘em down, over and over. He held the crowd’s rapt attention – no easy feat with 20 minutes of material about jerking off into a cup. Intentionally, we followed Chad in the lineup with:
Martha Tormey: I like watching Martha pull from her surroundings for the first two minutes she’s onstage, and I knew putting a frenetic lesbian after a masturbating jock would ensure a funny result. (“I wish I could raise my mother from the grave and make her watch that, to answer her question about why I’m a lesbian.”) Martha, as always, had a terrific set, and even gave us a thank-you present afterward. A class act, that woman. Last, it was:
Nathan Hartswick: I (Chad) hijacked this part so I could write about Nate’s set….his “awwww shucks” crap won’t fly with me. This show wouldn’t have gone off without him and we couldn’t have asked for a better guy to lead us last night…so from all the comics and crowd: THANKS NATHAN!
His set: MC Nathan Hartswick came out to wrap the evening up with his special brand of social commentary on everything from having a 25 year old girlfriend (“I know what you’re thinking: ‘nice‘.”) to kids wanting to text on 50’s style rotary phones. His easy delivery and timing made the crowd feel like they were with him in his twisted little world. A definite highlight of the evening and an awesome way to end a great show!
Back to Nathan: All in all, the night was terrific – there was something for everyone, and never a “down” moment. Afterward, Nick called it “a great start to the series,” and insisted we get another one on the calendar soon – maybe even with two shows next time (an early and a late one).
Though we conceived of this thing as an opportunity to do our own thing and get more stage time, it quickly turned into something bigger. The launch of vermontcomedyclub.com seems to have struck a chord with fans and comedians; they’ve been really grateful to have the resource. And that seems to have translated into buzz that led to a sold-out show at Higher Ground, for which we so appreciative.
And so, many thanks to all the other comics on the lineup, the consummate pros at Higher Ground, and everyone who turned out last night. Let’s do it again soon!
Tonight we play the deep South
By which I mean White River Junction.
We’ve been a little insulated up here, Pong-ing back and forth between BTV (that’s Burlington) and “The Noosk” (that’s Winooski, though it sounds like a morning radio sidekick, doesn’t it? “It’s ZooTime with JIMSTER and THE NOOSK!”). It’s good to hit the road sometimes.
So tonight begins (and ends) our national tour, which takes us to one location: White River Junction, Vermont. It’s a great town, and I don’t only say that because I’ve only ever seen it through the window of a Greyhound bus. I’ve also heard nice things from people.
I am lying. I’ve heard nothing. I have no idea what to expect.
Anyway, Mr. Jason “Jay” “Vic Papa” “Georgio” Staley, a local KJ, has set the whole thing up in the hopes that A) he can start a monthly comedy event in WRJ, B) he can videotape tonight’s show and send DVDs to the troops overseas, and C) he can take a break from listening to people butcher “In the Garden of Eden” for just one night so he isn’t forced to slit his wrists with a page from the karaoke binder.
So if you’re on the bottom of Vermont (don’t worry, honey, everyone’s gotta be the bottom sometimes), come check us out. MC will be Chad Smith, headliner will be Nathan Hartswick. John couldn’t make it, unfortunately – but there are other funny folk, like Colin Ryan, Mike Robideau and Avi Waring.
And if this goes well, who knows. We could extend the tour as far as Brattleboro next time…
Bonkerz with Kris Shaw
by In the words of Kris Shaw, I feel gangsta tonight.
For the past two nights the VCC guys (that’s me, John Lyons & Chad Smith) have had the pleasure of opening for a hilarious nationally touring comic named Kris Shaw as part of the “Bonkerz” comedy series at the Hampton Inn.
The crowd was hot – the place was packed with 300 hard workin’, hard-drinkin’ Vermonters who were definitely out to have a good time. After 6 or 7 Miller Lites they had no problem sharing – out loud – their innermost thoughts about you and your material. It made for a challenging, fun time onstage (think skiing a powder run with a buncha great moguls).
After the show we hung out with Kris, who turned out to be a great guy. It was fun to talk about how the shows went with someone so experienced. And we listened to his stories with fascination (he spent 2 weeks riding around in Blackhawk helicopters entertaining troops in Iraq), but didn’t envy the lifestyle (dude spends 50 weeks a year on the road).
Big thanks to Kris for being so generous with us, the crowd for coming out and havin’ a good time, the birthday ladies who sent me and Chad over that chocolate cake, and to Jim Martin at the Hampton for taking the chance on some local talent and putting the whole show together. Sorry I ate your nachos, man.
Stay tuned! The Vermont scene is growing…
Kris Shaw Live in Wisconsin:
Going tubing
- “Hm, okay, let’s see, startin’ a new venture here, what do I need?”
- “Okay, website. Check. Blog – check. Twitter. Check.”
- “What else. Facebook page with over 100 fans and a vanity URL. Check.”
- “MySpace? Yeah, um, fuck that.”
- “Lessee, what’s left, what’s left…?”
- “Oh right, YouTube.”
I offer this little internal monologue by way of explaining that A) our YouTube channel is up now, and B) it was kind of an afterthought, so you shouldn’t expect too much.
But hey – hopefully we’ll be able to put some good shit up for you guys in the future. So add it to the pile of crap you sift through on the Internet in your modern, edified life, you digital stooge.
We thank you.
Our Journey to Middle Earth
A small gang of us comedy nutjobs took the trip over to Middlebury last night and did a hit at the Town Hall Theater, a beautiful little space run by Douglas Anderson. Middle-stater Tony Bates put the April Fool’s extravaganza together, and did a great job. We had a good time – you could hear a pin drop onstage, the acoustics were so good, and despite it being a bit of a small crowd, they were attentive and seemed to enjoy themselves.
The lineup: Tony “I Got My Hands on My Hips” Bates, Ahamed (‘That’s ‘ah-HAH-med’”) Weinberg, Tracie “I Went for the Cock Joke” Spencer, John “I Spin Psychopathic Rants Like Busta Spins Rhymes” Lyons, Avi “It’s Not So Much Fresh Semen I Mind, it’s Dry Semen” Waring, and yours truly, Nathan “Ending With a Song Will Save Me From Bombing” Hartswick.
All in all, it was nice to bring standup to another place in the state that doesn’t get a whole lot of it, and we’re hoping to be able to do it again. Maybe next time I won’t leave my lights on and kill the battery in my car.
Click the redhead above for pics of the show.
Happy [belated] Easter
Posted by Nathan Hartswick
Take heed, folks. If you’re easily offended, particularly in reference to religion, you may want to avoid this link in favor of a Larry the Cable Guy special or something.
But if you enjoy cynical, antagonistic humor at the expense of the devout, read on.
Happy belated Easter, folks.
- VCC
P.S. Do you think Jesus went straight to Heaven today, the Monday after Easter, or did he hang around for an extra day freaking out people who thought he was dead? Just wondering.
This tool wants you to know how delightful Ricky Gervais is
Posted by Nathan Hartswick
Thanks to Colin Ryan for this ridiculous vid.
An Open Letter to Dan Bolles
My professional headshot.
Dear Mr. Bolles:
My name is Pete Chesterfield, otherwise known as “Wacky Pete!”, Vermont comedian extraordinaire (and part-time software consultant).
After reading your column on May 12 in which you state that Vermont “has its share of crummy comics,” I could only assume that this statement was a veiled reference to me and my offbeat comedy stylings.
After all, pretty much every time I get on stage, somebody calls me “crummy.” Sometimes they also call me “idiotic,” “sophomoric,” or “mentally handicapped.” I’ve grown accustomed to hearing these slights in person, hurled by a cowardly populace in the unforgiving darkness – it’s seeing them in print that really smarts.
Who can say why most comedy fans consider my act to be, as one unkind person put it, “the comic equivalent of a flaming bag of shit on an old man’s doorstep?” Is it my spot-on impressions of Jack Nicholson and Richard Nixon? My rambling stories about the video game I am currently playing? My awkward habit of fingering my sweaty bellybutton on stage when I am nervous? We may never know.
One thing I do know: these antics (and others) have been delighting my mother, my cousin Dexter, and my guinea pigs Chester and Esmerelda, for many years. Can I help it if those drunk faceless morons in the crowd don’t understand my sophisticated knock-knock jokes and sock ventriloquism? I cannot. And it’s their loss.
And so I continue to toil away at Vermont’s one monthly comedy open mic, because it’s the only place they’ll still let me onstage. And let me tell you, I have a hard enough time getting laughs from the people there without you calling attention to what a “bad comedian” I allegedly am, Mr. Bolles.
As you admit, you are a de facto comedy critic. Perhaps some night you should climb up on stage at the open mic like I do – with book of vaudeville jokes, two mice, a mandolin and a hula hoop. My guess is you will have a new appreciation for just how hard it is to make people laugh. Or even to get them to stop throwing peanuts and beer coasters at you long enough to listen.
Also, I’d like to take this opportunity to offer some tips for those local comedians who are always being told they are “bad,” “unfunny,” “corny,” “ugly” or “too stupid to know that everyone hates them:”
1. Don’t lose heart! All of these people were told repeatedly how bad they were, and they still made it. Be delusional!
2. Be observationally hilarious! Start every joke with, “What’s the deal with,” “D’ya ever notice,” “Have you seen these people?” or “Men and women are SO different!”
3. If you are bombing, blame the audience. Or yourself. The point is to call attention to the fact that you’re stinking the place up. Audiences love this sort of self-consciousness.
4. Props, props, props. Having other stuff on stage distracts from your material, and this is a good thing. Musical instruments do this well (whether you can play them or not). So do bath toys. Or toilet seats. Any funny object will work!
5. Don’t be afraid to steal jokes! Other people’s jokes work much better than yours. Try to steal from lesser-known comics so you don’t get caught.
In closing, I’d like to share with you a joke from my act, Mr. Bolles, one that is so apropos that I’m sure it will illuminate the real quality of my so-called “bad” comedy material. I think you’ll agree with my mother that I am an absolute cut-up, and destined for great things in this industry:
Q: Why did the cookie go to the hospital?
A: Because he felt “crummy.”
Ha! Ha! Priceless! Now who’s a “crummy comedian,” Mr. Bolles?
I rest my case.
Gasoline + fire + idiot
This video is called “Why you don’t pour gasoline on your bonfire,” but I can think of a few people who would interpret it as, “Why you should pour gasoline on your bonfire.”
VCC and the unicorns
So we needed some new press photos that included our third member, Chad Smith, and decided to snap a few shots yesterday.
In trying to come up with something funny, bizarre and interesting, we decided to do a mock “album cover” shoot at the old train yard, the kind you see shitty emo bands doing all the time.
The pièce de résistance, though, was a unicorn painting lent to us by my friend Siobhan, who received it as a gift in earnest and ever since has been taking it around photographing it, garden-gnome style. Thanks to her generosity, we were able to borrow and incorporate it into the shoot.
Click through to see some of our favorites. We’re polling people to determine which 1 or 2 we’re gonna send to the press/use to promote our June 26 show at Higher Ground.
See what you think…
Peace,
VCC
Poster for the big show!
Inspired by our recent unicorn shoot, our good friend Mr. Graham Keegan designed this “uni-cow” poster for our next show. We are madly in love with it. Burlington-ites will start seeing this beauty around town in the next few days.
Don’t forget to get tix to the show – it sold out in advance last time!
Cheers,
VCC
Magical unicorns will fly you to Higher Ground on Saturday!
The Vermont Comedy Club is pleased to report, with just 3 days to go until its big Higher Ground summer comedy show, that two magical flying unicorns (seen at left) will be transporting audience members to the venue atop their white, glitter-spangled backs.
“But only,” co-founder Nathan Hartswick adds, “for those who truly, truly believe.”
Hundreds of hopeful comedy fans will be standing in their driveways Saturday night, staring up at the Heavens, wishing for the unicorns to appear and fly them in magical fashion to the Higher Ground Showcase Lounge by 8:30 pm, when the venue’s doors open.
Those who are not true believers in the magic of unicorns may wish to make other travel arrangements.
Don’t forget to get your tickets! They’re selling fast. (Really.)
Below is a unicorn video for your humpday.
See you this weekend!
VCC
Boston Comedy Fest deadline is 8/31/10
Thanks to the illustrious Kathleen Kanz, who always has her finger on the pulse of these things, we recently became aware that the deadline for the Boston Comedy Festival is August 31, 2010.
It costs 35 bucks to submit your set, and the festival (if you’re one of the lucky 97 who get asked to perform) is November 5 – 13th.
Check it out, and best of luck!
VCC
Channeling it
Hey comedy fans.
Just wanted to share the new Vimeo channel with you – some video goodness featuring our three beloved founders, as well as some other funny comedian friends of ours. Maybe there’ll be more in the future, if we remember to post there.
And to our comedian friends: stay tuned for a big announcement in the next few days…
New & improved email subscriptions
Hey comedy fans.
So, you subscribed via email to get updates from the Vermont Comedy Club blog because you wanted to know what events were going on around here.
You’ve been getting posts about new events, but you’ve also been getting every other ridiculous thing we post, such as videos about Mel Gibson and Craiglist ads about unicorn meat.
We’re pleased to report there is now an answer. If you enjoy getting ALL of our stupid posts, there’s nothing to do – just sit back and relax. But if you would rather skip the fun shit and see only new comedy events in your inbox, click the “Unsubscribe” link at the bottom of this email. Then click here to subscribe via email to event posts only.
All part of our continuing effort to keep you informed with just the right amount of mayhem and timewasting hilarity.
See you at the shows,
VCC
Monthly open mic @ Patra!
We’re pleased to announce that through the hard work of the very funny Mr. Colin Ryan, Burlington now has its very own monthly comedy open mic!
It’ll happen the final Thursday of each month at Burlington’s newest evening hotspot, Patra Cafe. (Formerly Sapa – the one next to The Daily Planet; it faces City Market.) They’re a great little space with amazing Vietnamese coffee and bubble tea, and now they’ve added beer, wine, and late-night hours.
The first comedy open mic at Patra will happen next Thursday, July 29 at 9:00 pm. The open mic will rotate hosts each month, with this month’s event being emceed by Nathan Hartswick.
Comedians: signups start at 8:30 – get there early and bring some friends to cheer you on…
See you there!
Gree-Mor
Turns out in a parallel universe, Luke and Leia totally did it. Then they had an inbred kid.
